"READ TO ME! I NEED TO KNOW!--

but they can't hear her from where she is, and from where she is, she can't turn the page. From where she is, the page-- her paper-thin future-- is infinitely heavy."
~Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer

My life has exploded in activity. Comparing it to a month ago, I don't recognize it. Who is this person who dashes from bed to class to work to class to rehearsal to audition to performance to bed? She has hardly any time to crack open Everything Is Illuminated, she doesn't get enough sleep, and (gasp!) she hasn't watched a movie in almost three weeks! Unthinkable. It's been stressful, but it's been the good kind. I love that my stress is coming from being in two shows at once. At this very moment, I should be reading my Biology homework, but there has been so much which has evaded this blog due to my time constraints that I can't bear to let it go any longer.

I moved to my new house. I was sad to let my sister's apartment go; it had been a very peaceful and comfortable abode. But as Melanie's family forced their way in, (which of course they had every right to do), I had no time to be sentimental. I simply had to get all of my stuff out of there and clean the place between my time at work and rehearsal. I immediately hated my new place. I realized that I had been very optimistic in my first inspection of the house and imagined it to be far better than it was. I spent several days in limbo as I had no time to unpack, and the girls who had lived here previously were still camping out in the living room. I was miserable not having a wee space to call my own. I resorted to playing music from my weak computer speakers simply so I could fill the empty space with something familiar. But as I spent a couple of hours here in the daylight, I realized that the place wasn't so bad. Yes, there's mold in the bathroom, the kitchen is disgusting, my windows are broken, and whoever decorated this place before had absolutely no taste. But there's a tree outside my window which dapples my carpet with leafy shadows and whispers to me through the wind. The bathroom on the main floor makes me feel like I've stepped into the '20's. I have a balcony which is perfectly suited to serenades. There's plenty of space. My closet contains a secret compartment in which I'll leave a remembrance of myself when I leave for someone to discover in years to come. And with some patience and money on my part, I can one day make this house a pretty attractive place to live. The house feels much more mine now than it was three weeks ago, though I still haven't finished unpacking, nor do I have any pictures on the wall.

Macbeth has turned out pretty well. I was extremely anxious about all of the design elements coming together, but it worked out in the end. I also wish we (the cast in general) weren't quite so nice and polite, since we're wearing pretty rough clothing. But I'm confident in my recommendations of the show, and I am confident in my participation. I've really enjoyed working on this show. I love my cast and crew, I've learned a lot, and it has resulted in work I am proud of. I think it's my favorite production since high school.

I can't believe school has started again. Summer ended so quickly, and without any kind of farewell amidst my flurry of activity. I have never been so reluctant to go back to school as I was this year. I blame that on my lack of acting classes. I'm only taking three G.E.s (Biology, New Testament, and HEPE online), and then getting credit for Macbeth and Hamlet. Hopefully, this semester will be pretty easy. Because of work, I didn't really have time to add another class, and 3 G.E.s are more than enough for me at one time. I was also cast in A Generation Raised in Propriety. It's being done again, with a different director of course. My audition wasn't the greatest, so I was really nervous. I really invested myself in Marie last year, and I would have hated seeing someone else play that role-- I would have felt violated. But I was offered the role again! I'm really excited for it. Morag has shortened it into a one-act, and hopefully it won't require that much time to put it together. I also just auditioned for The Two Gentlemen of Verona. I really like this play and desparately want to be a part of it. I think the audition went alright, so we'll see. Do you think I'm getting tired of Shakespeare? Not a chance.

I wrote a few weeks ago that I just wanted a week where everything seemed to be going right. Well, I've certainly experienced that. Not this week, but in my recent past, things certainly have seemed to be falling into place. It was so incredible, I was half-expecting some tragedy to occur any moment. Things certainly aren't perfect, but I like where things are heading. I guess you just have to hold tight and wait, just keep doing what you're doing, and eventually the skies will clear up for you. I'm pretty apprehensive about when this lucky streak will end. Too bad I can't get a vague weather forecast for my life.

There is something which isn't going as I would like, but I happen to feel that this is the way it should be for now. So, though it kind of stinks for me, I guess I'll just have to live with it.

Robert and Shana ParkeHarrison

Looking at Rodney Smith's work, I remembered this exhibit I saw at the George Eastman House years ago. I loved it, it changed my life. www.parkeharrison.com.

I am absolutely in love.

Go explore www.rodneysmith.com.

"What good is it to live with nothing left to give...

Forget but not forgive,
Not loving all you see?"

~Coldplay's Swallowed in the Sea



My friends who watch rated R movies were all in rehearsal or working. Why was I hesitant to go to a movie by myself when I was totally willing to see shows alone in London? There was no day but today to do it, so I set off for an evening on my lonesome. With great films to keep me company, I wasn't lonely at all. As I had to go to SLC to see a certain film recommended by a friend, I might as well see the other I was dying to see but which wasn't being offered in Provo. So first I saw Millions, read for half an hour in a Starbucks, and proceeded to Me and You and Everyone We Know. As I was watching these great films, I did want to be sharing the experience with someone, but it was because the movies were so good I wanted to spread the love! On the other hand, because I was by myself, they seemed like this incredible gift just for me, which made the films really personal.



I'm bursting at the seams! All three films I experienced today are so incredible and uplifting. As I left the last theatre of the day (I watched the last twenty minutes of Howl's Moving Castle after my second film), I was filled with so much love! So much love which bounced around my car uselessly, since I had no one there to share it with. But I felt like dancing in the streets and singing as loud as I could and taking advantage of all the relationships in my life and giving all of my money to people suffering around the world and living life to the fullest and having a significant other with whom to do it all! I'm sitting in my apartment bursting with love towards everything and everyone but trying to be as quiet as possible while my roommate slumbers on in the lovesac. I want to pounce on her and make her abandon her plans for tomorrow to go to Salt Lake instead. But she is not so irrational as myself.

Go see Millions. This is a piece of advice I can give to anyone, regardless of your film taste or rating preference. (I could say the same of Howl, but I know many of you have seen it.) Search it out, I know you will love it. What makes it all the more wonderful is that it was created by the director of Trainspotting. Not everyone will love Me and You and Everyone We Know. It's one of those films you have to be careful about who you share it with, because some just won't appreciate it. It always makes me sad when people don't share my love for a film. You have to be picky with this one.

))<>((

Oh goodness.

A Testimony

I had a message on my voicemail this morning, and looked to see whose call I had missed. It was Barnes & Noble. Yes, I have B&N in my phonebook, I'm a dork. But it's turned out to be really handy as I'm out in search of a book or CD, and instead of returning home to look up B&N's number or driving to the store on the chance that they have it, I can just call on the spot. It's my favorite store, why shouldn't it be so honoured? Anway, I couldn't imagine why they'd be calling me... unless they had actually responded to my application! Indeed, they want an interview. After years of wanting to work there and applying for a job there whenever I was out of work, they have finally responded. Oh, but why not a week ago before I accepted another job?! I shake my fist at the skies. Several people have urged me to interview for this job and quit the bookstore, which hasn't even properly started yet. Believe me, I'm tempted.

As it offers tastey and expensive Starbucks products while you browse the shelves, Barnes & Noble is the combination of two corporate chains I feel I should morally dislike. I should dislike them because it's difficult to compete with the monstrous B&N and Starbucks if you're a fledgeling specialty bookstore or a local coffeeshop. But I love them both. I love how huge B&N can be, they so often have what you're looking for and so much of what you're not looking for. It combines four of my favorite things: literature, film, music, and cafes. In Matt's eloquent way of putting it, it combines the scent of books and coffee to create the delicious aroma of intelligent, East Coast life. In high school, my friends and I used to hang out at both B&N and Starbucks, talking, writing bad poetry, planning book clubs, etc. Maybe my love for these places is merely my association with good times. Partly, perhaps. For some reason, though whenever I visit B&N I spend a long time there, I never see anyone I know, or even awkwardly recognize. It's like I'm in my own world of artists. It's relaxing. And, in a self-contradicting effort to become the nonchalant chic cafe of the neighborhood, the two local cafes are trying too hard to achieve what Starbucks so effortlessly exudes. All I know is that whenever I walk into a B&N or a Starbucks, no matter where it is in the world, I get the same, comforting feeling. Like the Gospel, they're the same wherever you go.