Moo.

Some of my reasons.

From Sara and Rebecca.

My testimony.

I have a testimony of the iPod. It has truly changed my life. While perusing iTunes, and discovering the album below, I thought about how different the soundtrack of my life is now as compared to life before the iPod. Before, I had a lot of showtunes. And of course I still do, but I have so much more now. I have style, I have taste, I have a spring in my step as I walk down New York City streets, and multi-faceted motivation as I run on the elliptical. I had company and a wake-up call as I trudged to school every day. I would have fallen asleep at the wheel many-a-time without my trusty comrade. I was given my iPod one fateful Christmas. It's old-school, no colors on the screen. The click-wheel was the new feature back in those days. I named him Figaro and he has been my constant companion for five years now. I have been steadily gathering music and Figaro is still only half full. Or half empty. He's never been sick (knock on wood) and I would CRY if he were lost/stolen/destroyed in any way. The iPod brought music and expression into my life in a way I'd never before experienced. Growing up in a house of classical radio and instrumental soundtracks, with the occasional song from a sibling's car mix tape, I had no idea there was such an expanse of music out there that I would LOVE. That I could listen to on repeat, hear countless times on my phone's ringtone, and never ever tire of. Music that is indeed me, as my mom had inscribed on the back of Figaro. And now I have music at my fingertips, any time day or night, on glorious iTunes. How I love our age of digital music, and the wee phenomenon, the iPod.

The song you hear RIGHT NOW is from this album.

Oh Jo. Part II

My new haircut. Newly altered.
I was not best pleased with my haircut. From a new stylist. Though I liked the stylist very much, it's obvious she's a great stylist, she just wasn't my stylist. So after wearing the cut for a week, I went back today. I hope I (she) made it better, but I'm not 100% positive I did. She basically thinned it out more, razored it up some, created more layers on top. So it's less bulky now. I'm still not totally sold, and my heart yearns for Summer, my stylist of old who made my hair sexy. But at this point I'll just have to make do. These pictures at least make it look similar to what I was striving for:
That's the haircut I had when I went to Denver.

Even though I had grown my hair out for a while, and was enjoying it long, I had received so many compliments on my hair when it was short like that. People would say "That is THE perfect cut for you!" I don't understand why-- I have a round face, aren't bobsish things not supposed to be good for that? But I can't deny that I liked it too, at the time, so I thought returning to something I knew I looked good in for my auditions was a good idea. Or was it.

Because this longish hair was looking pretty good too, despite the expression.

P.S. Someone at W.S. asked me if I was part-Asian. Weird, no?

Every day when I walk into Williams-Sonoma, I walk past these beauties. They are what my heart desired the first time I walked into that store to get my application, and they are the one thing on my list that I NEEDED to buy with my amazing %40 discount. And they are gone. I am so upset. I haven't gotten a lot of hours the past couple of weeks at the old W-S. So I had no idea that they went on sale. I kind of thought they were a permanenty sort of thing. I was so wrong. I can't stand it. The one thing. And they were only $30. WHY did I not buy them before?!!!

Because I was trying to be good.

Oh Jo!

I am very touchy about my haircuts. And I am very very nervous about getting my hair cut on Thursday. For the last few years I've been getting my hair cut by the same salon-- good old Shep's-- who never disappointed me. Indeed, they made me love my hair like I never have before. I've had great hair for the past few years, and I think of that part of Little Women when Jo cuts her hair and Amy says "oh your one true beauty!" That's kind of how I think of my hair. I know I'm being totally vain about fixating on my hair like this, and it would serve me right to get a bad hair cut and then just have to live with it, but my auditions! I have put my haircut off as long as I could, now I must get it cut because I must look my best for my week o' auditions coming up. It really helps if you can be confident in looking your best when you enter that realm of judgement and anxiety.

I have returned to Shear Ego because I have no clue where else to go. It's good enough for snobby Pittsford women, hopefully it will be good enough for me? I am a little worried that it's good enough for the old women, not the young hip ones... I am hoping that this is a good place because if you have the moola to spend you can get your hair cut for $90. I have opted for the level of Master Stylist, which is the second of five levels. Who knows what the titles are for the three levels above Master. But my worries were certainly not put at rest when I was put on hold to listen to advertisements for Shear Ego's different spa treatments delivered through an extremely fake British accent. Why? WHY? If you feel the need to define your spa by a British accent, please find someone who can do it right. Like me.

The Beauty Authority

I am officially a permanent castmember of Sephora. I will be going to NYC for five days of fabulous training. I unfortunately cannot go with the rest of the new castmembers to the training in Washington D.C. because they are going the week of my auditions. Boo. It would have been a lot of fun. Oh well, move on.

Now that that worry is over, I immediately move on to worry a LOT about how many hours they are going to give me. I have a feeling that the full-time I asked for isn't going to happen.

Rochester is bleak today so I am going to pull closed the curtains and watch a movie about Edith Piaf. Though that may not be much brighter. But there's been some Oscar buzz over this girl's performance, so I hope it's a good one.

Bad Habits

I will never want to read or hear or watch that play for the rest of my life. Sorry Mr. McNally.

I wish that I could spend half an hour on blog writing a day. I certainly have enough to blog about-- I just don't discipline myself enough. I would apparently prefer to watch two hours of Project Runway or America's Next Top Model than come up to my room and put my brain to a wee bit of work. I don't like that. But I also don't like that writing this here blog is a solitary activity. I just can't tear myself away from companionship now that it is here.

Another bad habit: procrastination, as always. It is coming near to panic time regarding my impending grad school auditions. I don't have monologues which = Trouble. Right here in River City. And it's my own fault for waiting for an unavailable script to magically appear in my lap by way of my sister but I just wanted to believe that some things could be simple and attainable. I knew all along it was a stretch for me to get the monologue I wanted and I should have been rounding up some backups.

There are so many things about my life that I should funnel into resolutions.

I want to read more. This has never been a problem for me before, except that I read too much. Somehow the worst parts of me come out at home. Parts of me that I never knew I had.

I want to blog more. And I want my blogs to be better. Better than this paltry list of thoughts I've got going here. I've never endeavored or claimed to be a Writer, but I think my blogs used to be better.

I want to learn how to use my Awesome camera and turn this into a real hobby. And then my awesome blog can include awesome pictures.

Of course the inevitable: I want to go to the gym every day and get myself to LIFT WEIGHTS instead of just doing cardio.

I want to be active and engaged and pursue my passions all of the time because when I don't, I get depressed and feel useless.

Now these are not resolutions. Perhaps they will be when I get back from Chicago and Memphis, but for now I've got enough on my plate. I just need to get cracking.

A positive thing about my life right now: I am going back to Chicago. Which is kind of a scary thing for me because last year I kind of had a serious breakdown there. So it's a little frightening to be returning to the scene and cause of the crime. I am very disappointed that I look the same as I did a year ago. Very. And I can't believe I don't have monologues. But I haven't been scared away and I am proud of that, and I do think this year will be better. I think in a way I am more focused, and I've definitely become a little more centered, more confident with my talent and abilities. Hopefully that won't change when I enter that atmosphere of I AM SO FREAKED OUT.

Goal while in Chicago and Memphis: take in some sites, calmly, so that my brain isn't abuzz with auditioning adrenaline and nerves all day long every day. I think spending some time Not thinking about acting and such will help me. I need to get to that art museum. Instead of hyping myself up over doing my best, I will just be the best.