"I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection."

Aaah, the last week of "Handing Down the Names", and the last full week of school. In a month from now, I will be in England. But how I wish it were today. The show has gotten some really good responses. Our Talk Back session last week offered some amazing compliments, and someone even said they thought I was really an old woman! I still absolutely do not want to go through this week of performance, but I really do enjoy the time with my cast.

Not much news really. I still don't know where I'm going to live next year, but I think that for summer I'll just stay in Lindsay's place. I finally decided last week to go ahead and move out of my ward, but by that time the apartment below Lindsay's was all taken. Of course. If I get access to the car anytime soon, maybe I'll go knocking on doors.

I was cast in Macbeth at the Castle, which is exciting. Barta's going to direct it, so I think I will finally have a play experience I will really like, huzzah! The cast will be fun too, it includes several friends. It's a relief, because even if I'll be living in a place where I don't know anyone, I will have those rehearsals at which I will have access to friendship. I'm Witch 2, which I hope will be great fun. Barta seemed to say that we'd be influencing things in the background a lot, which I really hope. Having to spend a lot of time backstage is no fun. I wish I could know what Barta was thinking sometimes...

One of the reasons why I can't wait to go to England, is that I feel like once I'm there I will have a two-month respite of not having to worry or really think about boys, dating, etc. For one thing, dating is not allowed. For another, there is so much to do and absorb there. There's a boy in the ward which I was attempting to flirt with, and he came over last night, but asked Katie on a date. Fabulous. Yet again, Laura's rejected while her friends are courted. It's not a big deal in itself, it's just another little blow on an already bruised sensibility. He called me this morning, but only to ask if Katie had seen my play yet. I'm assuming he'll be asking her to that.

When it comes right down to it, I am really lonely. And I do a lot to not think about it, to distract myself and pretend that everything's fine. But I can't really escape the core truth.

Nevertheless, as distractions go, London will be a nice one.